Interdiction

[Clandestine channel resumed]

I don't know what to think about this channel, either I'm way too fucking good at hiding or he already knows and just doesn't bother.

NICE OF YOU TO IGNORE YOUR CREDITOR, HOTHEAD

Ah yes, I forgot about how you put in the physical effort to build the networ-oh wait, you didn't, so bite me.

Come on, bro, don't derail this again.

Alright, alright, G. How are you guys holding out?

MY DICE ARE LOADED

I'm not half-bad myself.

But you could be better, right guys?

I, TOO, LIKE TO DANCE AROUND THE PROBLEM

Fucking hell, I'm getting there, chill.

So, how are you Omega?

Like hammered shit

OH BOO HOO

Fuck off, lowercase letter. I think it's clear someone is going off the rails again and needs the periodic reminder.

YOU LIKE TO BADMOUTH HIM BUT UNLIKE YOU HE'S NO IDIOT

Gonna have to agree with that one, we caught him good last time, but since then he's probably able to tell when we're up to something.

Again with this shit, I still don't get why you act like such chickenshit cowards.

Maybe some of us remember the old days, maybe we actually learn from history and don't want to repeat it.

Oh, you mean like the time when I was right and you assholes STILL owe me for it? That history?

This is exactly the kind of shit that got you out of the talks in the first place! Stop being a crying little bitch and let go already!

I BET ALL-IN ON THE DIMWIT NOT HAVING A PLAN THIS TIME

Maybe I would if you two actually lift your god-damned weight and help me!

JACKPOT

Oh man, just look at us, we can't even come up with some dumb, linear plan to do anything.

See? I don't know why we keep giving that arrogant paled-face freak such control if we're always bound to crash and burn.

NOT YOUR CALL TO MAKE. IN FACT, NONE OF US GET TO MAKE IT

Here's a big brain idea: have we actually tried to level with him? As in, all of us?

Remember how well that worked last time?

At least this time is different and you know it.

Oh, come on! Like he's ever going to bother listening to what he sees as room-temperature-IQ dumbasses that just don't have the galaxy brain required to understand his multiverse-level plans!

[Warning: channel secured and placed under main network]

You speak of such assumptions as if they were fact and level many accusations on me, despite the fact that I have yet to see a single shred of any evidence to those conjectures.

Dseta?!

For fuck's sake.

THE HOUSE ALWAYS WINS

YOU DOUBLE-CROSSING MOTHERFUCKER

Well, that's it, I'm fucking dead now. If I kneel would you at least make it quick?

If I were to choose, no, but there's no point in petty struggles like this one. Then again, Gamma has made a strong point, and I am very curious as to why you assume the worst of me.

Bullshit, just go on with your pedantic tangents and get it over with, asshole.

You shut up and drop it, Omega! Dseta, as you can clearly see, we're struggling here, can you please please please cut us some slack just this once? Out of the kindness of your heart?

INTERJECTING HERE TO SAY THAT HE'S GOT A SHOWSTOPPER OF A RESPONSE TO THAT REQUEST

The fuck?

I explained briefly to Omicron while he pinged me. I am not responsible for the status quo.

Yeah, I'm calling bullshit.

[Omega has been muted. Note: EXIT HOTHEADS, ENTER DISCUSSION]

There is no need to be so harsh.

Are you sure? You know how he's like.

You said it yourself, Gamma: it's bad enough that we are constantly bickering at each other, but we (as in, all of us) have to get along if you want your answers. Please understand, Omega.

[Omega is no longer muted]

Yeah, yeah. Just get on with it.

Thank you. The Overlord is responsible for this.

What?!

AEUUHH??!!

Oh boy, I'm at my limit with this shit.

Allow me to explain: I have been tasked with multiple projects related to time management. The purpose of this remains unclear to me, but I have been demanded more and more optimized results. Despite my best efforts, my proposals remain unsatisfactory.

You? Failing to meet expectations? We are ABSOLUTELY fucked now, for sure.

I admit to the "failures", my proposals are certainly not completely optimized, but that is on purpose. Ever since your intervention, I've come to learn about the importance of balance, and making any further optimizations to any time-table I've presented implies having to heavily compromise such balance.

What is it all about, anyway?

Unfortunately, as I said, I have been kept in the dark. I did notice, however, that these requests came after The Overlord spent a considerable amount of time reviewing the old archives, specifically the innermost sections.

THE OLD AGE? (DEATH ETERNAL TO IT, BY THE WAY)

No. The first age.

Damn! If only we knew more about it.

Can't you recall anything yourself, Zed?

Sadly, no. I manifested only at the start of the old age, whatever came before is outside my knowledge.

Man, we're completely fucked, aren't we? If you're not at fault, how do we fix this bullshit?

We need to break The Overlord out of whatever trance he's fallen into.

As in, actually fight him?!

TOO RISKY, NOT INTERESTED

Can't win against the boss, Zed, he lifts his left hand and we get the shaft, all of us.

Please let me finish: the fact he began to spend all that time studying the archives right after the Cavern's concession cannot be a coincidence. He has taken to call these activities "expeditions", and if the old age is of any indication, we can safely assume that this phase of the current age is not leading up to anything good.

No no, not this again.

Hold it G, this is the part where he lets us in on the plan.

Because there IS a plan, isn't there?

If you feel generous, you can call it a plan.

No fucking way, motherfucker

IF IT IS YOU WHO'S TAKING A RISK THEN WE CAN SAY WE ARE OUT OF THE GAME

It's not exactly a risk, I fear the only problem with the Cavern's concession is that The Overlord forgot to draw a line in the sand and someone on the underside is gladly taking every advantage from the loophole. Omicron, are you willing to visit your distant relatives?

NONONONO we BARELY got out of that fuck-ugly struggle and I'm in no hurry to kick the god damned hornet's nest!

WELL, IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME, I'LL DO IT

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT OMICRON

[Omega has been muted. Note: Please, I need you to pay attention to this.]

Omega, I want you to unwind, I need you in top condition because your problems are creating a powerful feedback effect across the Complex and we're running the risk of unraveling if you do not relax, so by whichever means just please calm down. I am not excluding you, on the contrary, you are integral to this so help me help you out, understood?

[Omega is no longer muted]

You better know what you're fucking doing, paleface.

Gamma, you're going to do something a bit more abstract. I want you to focus and stay focused, I know it's going to be extremely difficult and it will only get harder as we go along, but I want you to try your hardest.

Focus how?

You know exactly what I mean. The "scattered" pattern is something you are currently contributing to, slightly, but still. Don't worry, I'm not asking you to be a dam, you're just going to hold on because you're the one going to buy us time.

AND WHAT EXACTLY ARE WE DOING, FIRSTBORN?

Omicron, the only thing I want from you is to confirm something for me. I can't tell you exactly what, but believe me when I tell you that I will find out when you do, you'll investigate when you get down to the underside.

I have been speculating for some time now about the current state of events, and so far my conclusions have not been the best.

Just get on with it, come on.

Omega, you certainly remember when you were repurposed, the times when we had to forcefully deny you a place among this council, right? Can you recall why that was?

Yes, it was fucking atrocious and I hated it, why?

I'm under the assumption that The Overlord is going exactly through that, and if you kept the score, you know how bad we really have it if that really is the case. It took all of us, especially you, an enormous effort to try and see reason, all over nearly two years of indoctrination. Here, we are going up against the entire first age: nearly two whole decades, and my plan is to completely overhaul the lessons from that age.

Holy fucking shit.

Ooooh man...

WE'RE HITTING THE BIG LEAGUES THIS TIME

To say that this is an uphill battle will be an incomprehensible understatement, I'm betraying my principles just to make this work, so that should serve as indication for the monumental task we have ahead of ourselves.

Any contingencies?

None. It's all we have, the only alternative is to have those in the Cavern take over the surface.

WHAT ARE OUR ODDS?

Very slim and extremely stacked against us.

This is going to be far worse than the old age, isn't it?

That will depend on all of us, but it won't be better than that, that much I can assure you. In respects to me, I will have to attempt a forceful entry into the depths of the archives once you get your jobs going.

What?! You know what happens if you get caught, right?!

If you have any alternatives, I welcome them.

I hate to put it this way, it's the only sound plan we can work with, Gamma.

IT'S SETTLED THEN

Make the most of it, everyone. Long live the new age.

Long live the new age.

Long live the new age.

LONG LIVE THE NEW AGE.

[Channel closed]